Monday, November 22, 2010

'Tis the season...

....for ridiculousness.

Christmas used to be my favourite time of year.  The sights, the sounds, the smells....I loved it all.  I also loved buying the perfect gifts for people.  Sure, I usually went overboard, but it gave me some joy to buy things for people they'd never buy themselves.  The best part, however, was spending time with my family and our Christmas traditions. 

The last few years I have found Christmas incredibly stressful.  Once we GET to Christmas, it's fine.  I still love being with my family and going through our usual rituals.  And now that we have kids, it is really fun to start new traditions with them.  But much of the joy has been taken from me, and I'm not sure why.

If I could skip through to December 24th, I'd be fine.  That moment in church at our Christmas Eve service, I can almost feel the stress lifting off my shoulders.  Maybe it's because I'm finally with my family, quiet and calm, or maybe it's because I know the stores are closed!  I love hosting Christmas dinner.  I love sitting around the lit tree, eating until we're totally stuffed, hanging out in our pyjamas...to me, THAT is what Christmas is about.  Obviously, it's about more than that (if, like me, you believe in the birth of Christ), but ultimately my "reason for the season" is being with my loved ones.

So why oh why are we constantly inundated with commercialism and materialism at every turn? 

I don't get it.  I just don't understand the need to buy my kids the "latest and greatest" crap that they a) don't need and b) don't want.  Ensuring that they have more toys than they know what to do with does not mean I love them.  Limiting the amount of gifts they get at Christmas does not mean I love them less.  I have a real problem with the excessiveness in any form, especially when so many around us are in need.  REAL need.  My kid does not NEED anything.  Neither does anyone in my family or extended family.  We all live very blessed lives.  We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, heat, hydro, clothes...we have everything we need to live comfortably.  We can even afford extras.  My children can do extracurricular activities.  My husband and I are fortunate and can afford to take a trip together.  We are VERY blessed.

Some may argue that my children have "wants".  Really?  At three and one, do they really WANT anything????  The only reason they would want for anything at this age is if I tell them they want it.  Or, if someone else tells them they want.  I know that at some point they will be exposed to greater outside influences that will encourage them to "want" -- school friends, TV, etc.  But I feel that it is our job as parents to teach them that giving is more important than getting.  More importantly, it is my job to set boundaries.  It just becomes difficult when those boundaries aren't respected.

The last few weeks we have had some interesting sermons at church which have made me think about this issue even further.  The gift of generosity and the discipline of simplicity are hard things to wrap your head around when our culture is working in exact opposition to these philosophies.  I hope that I can model generosity to my children so that they understand it isn't just about the "stuff".  It's about being generous with your time, your heart, your compassion.  I want my children to understand that we have been very blessed, and that it is up to us to "pay it forward".  The "stuff" they have won't make them happy, but loving their neighbours will. 

So as we close in on yet another Christmas season, I hope I can find some inner peace and embrace the things I love about this time of year.  Spending time with my family, planning a meal I know everyone will love, enjoying a glass of wine by the fire and the lit tree, cuddling with my kidlets in their fleece jammies...that is what's important.  I hope that I can let go of the stress of the materialism that surrounds me. 

Or turn it into a life lesson for my children. I'm pretty sure that is more productive than what I've been doing up to now!