We just got home from vacation, and as usual it was too good, and too short.
Every year, we visit the hunt camp where my husband is a member. In the summer, the camp gets used as a cottage. By hunt camp stantards, it is extremely luxurious. As a cottage, it's rustic...but comfortable and functional. The only thing that's missing (as far as I'm concerned) is indoor plumbing. Specifically, flush toilets. There IS a shower, so that's something.
This spot is my husband's most favourite place on earth. It's his idea of heaven, and he looks forward to being there every year. He goes for a long weekend in the spring (to fish), hunting in the fall, but I'm starting to think that the week with his family might be starting to edge its way to the top as his favourite week of the year. I'm pretty sure his top moment was when his young son had his fishing rod in his hand for the first time, and then caught his first fish (albeit a small one they had to throw back). My husband has waited for that moment since they announced "it's a boy" in the delivery room.
The boys loved being there. They adapted beautifully, and we had no issues with their sleep. They LOVED being on the boat, and we spent most of their waking hours going for long boat rides (which in turn, fueled their sleep). It was a nice vacation for me as well, as I didn't have to do any cooking all week. I managed to do a lot of reading and resting, which is actually the best kind of vacation. Believe it or not, the best part about the week was being "screen free". No phones (there is no phone there, and no cell coverage), no TV, no computer. Usually, I'm antsy to get home and "catch up". But this year, I was actually sad to leave and come back to real life.
The whole week I realized that the best part about being there is the quality family time. I thought we were pretty good about spending family time together. There are many nights (and often most weekends) were we have no scheduled plans. Much of our time is spent just "hanging out". Which is great, but hanging out at home means chores: cleaning the house, doing laundry, going shopping, cutting the grass, cleaning the pool....the list really is endless. So while we're together, we're not really TOGETHER. Being away from home, away from all of our distractions, meant we relied on each other for entertainment. My husband and I played scrabble in the evenings. We read. We played with the boys. We TALKED. Really talked. Not about the kids, not about our to-do list, but talked to each other about real stuff. Made me realize I had missed that. Also made me realize I've been doing a terrible job at "plugging in" to my REAL life. Of course, I plug into my perceived real life -- I keep up-to-date via computer and TV. I play with the kids. But so much of our time is spent going through the motions -- okay, now I have to feed you, clean you, dress you, take you out and run errands, get you down for a nap...sigh...it's almost dinner time and then blissful bedtime....our days whip by in a blur. By the time my husband is home, it's all I can do to get dinner on the table, and then go to bed myself. Our conversations revolve around what happened today, what needs to happen tomorrow, what is planned for the weekend...before you know it, months have gone by.
So, instead of waiting for my one week a year with my family, I'm going to try and take the lessons learned and apply them to my real life now.
Really focusing on the now. Maybe we can't take the boys for a boat ride, but I can keep them playing and happy. The errands can wait. The laundry can definitely wait.
But first, I need to take some time with my husband and have a conversation that doesn't start with "so, today I ....".
