My baby is one

Just over two weeks ago, my baby turned one.  I can hardly believe it...it seems like just yesterday I was dealing with the craziness of newborn sleep, nonstop feedings and sleep deprivation. 

I have a hard time with the first birthday for some reason.  I thought the first one was bad.  But this past year has literally flown by.  Even when I was in the throes of no sleep (and I don't mean the newborn days either) and thought it would never end, I look back on it and can hardly remember much of what happened.  And all of a sudden I am the mom to a toddler and a preschooler and am not sure how that happened. 

My children are so beautiful, it hurts my heart.  My 3 year old is funny.  He knows how to make you laugh, and does things on purpose to get a laugh.  A natural charmer.  He's incredibly smart, and very observent -- you can't get anything past him.  My baby is starting to prove that he's a bit of a charmer as well.  Big blue eyes that get whatever they want.  An easy smile, a quick laugh, big hugs and kisses for anyone who wants them....and it appears he's going to be a chatterbox like his big brother. 

I've been home with them for a year now.  Officially, my maternity leave ended a month ago, so being technical, I've been stay at home mom for a month.  But I never felt like my maternity leave was a "leave"...it felt like I was starting my new life.  I feel so blessed that we have a choice.  A choice to have a parent at home with our children as they grow.  I feel lucky that the parent is me. 

So what I have I learned this year?  I've learned that extreme sleep deprivation does make you crazy.  I've also learned that when you take a minute, there really is a well of patience just waiting to be tapped.  I've learned that being present in the moment is more important than being on time.  I've learned that everything can be fixed by a mommy cuddle/kiss/hug, even if mommy was the cause of the problem in the first place.  I've learned that child hunger and fatigue is the biggest cause of child meltdown, and when said child is in the throes of said meltdown, the only person who can honestly be blamed is me.  Thus, I've learned that being organized and ensuring snacks and food are on hand at all times is important.  I've learned that "mommy instinct" is real, and mine is strong.  I truly am the best judge if something is "wrong" with my kids, and I'm most definitely their best advocate.  I've learned that my love is infinite, and it grows and changes every day.  And just when I think I love my family the most I possibly can, tomorrow comes and I learn there is more to love. 

And, I learn there is more to learn. 

So here's to another year of tomorrows.  May I be open to the life lessons my children teach me -- open to change and growth, and open to being present in the moment.