Aging brilliantly

I'm about to turn 35.  THIRTY FIVE.  For some reason, that is a "scary age" for me.  I love my birthday, and really, I feel the best that I have in years.  I've officially lost 20lbs, and I feel amazing.  From that perspective, I actually feel young.  When I look in the mirror, I still see my young self.  The accomplishments in my life (namely my children) let me know that I'm older than the face in the mirror seems.  But older in my case definitely means better. 

But 35 means I'm now in a new check box on a survey.  I'm in the 35-44 age range on a questionaire.  When I have to tell someone out loud how old I am, it sounds old to me. 

Fortunately, with age comes wisdom.  At least one would hope.  This journey of detoxifying my life means that I am constantly engaging in self-reflection.  This isn't a bad thing -- rather, quite the opposite.  I like learning about myself, about others, about how we are making our way through this journey called "life".  I want to keep growing and learning to be a better version of myself.  I think I owe that to myself, my husband and my children.

I'm listening to Raquel Welch describe what it means to "age brilliantly".  I guess it means something different for everyone, but for me it means living every moment of my life to the fullest.  EVERY moment.  Even the moments I wish I was somewhere else.  We've been having a rough go with the baby lately and there have been several moments when I just wanted him to stop screaming and sleep.  I've doubted myself more in the last month than I have since I became a parent nearly 3 years ago.  Part of me feels like a failure because I can't seem to fix this myself.  But maybe that's what it means to be wise -- to know when you're beat and ask for help.  I'm sure I'll have more grey hair by the time this child turns one, but even at our lowest moments, I remind myself that I have the best job.  I have the sweetest children, and I am so lucky to live this life.  So, for now, I'll forget the number on my birth certificate and focus on living my life to the fullest.

Please remind me I said this when I complain that I'm tired. I need to relish these moments, because I know I'll be sad when they're gone.